My partner and I are in the middle of watching Breaking Bad. For me, it’s a second viewing, and I’m getting much more out of it as a young adult than I did as a teenager.
Just today, we watched the scene where Walter White repeatedly punches a paper towel dispenser after receiving good news about his cancer at the end of S2E9. It’s an incredible ending, and I wanted to write about it on the blog.
However, while procrastinating online before drafting an article, I discovered an entire website dedicated to analyzing the series: Studying Breaking Bad. They even have an article about the towel dispenser scene. It’s worth reading.
While I don’t write with the goal of sharing something entirely novel, finding an analysis that perfectly mirrors my intended angle killed my motivation. But it also sparked a new idea: my relationship to the timely consumption of video games.
We live in an era overflowing with quality content—TV shows, video games, books—more than any one person could ever fully enjoy. As a consequence of the overwhelming quantity of available content, I always seem to arrive late to the party. With video games in particular.
Let me share a personal example. A dear friend gifted me Baldur’s Gate III this April, but I haven’t even installed it. I want to appreciate how the Baldur’s Gate series has evolved through the decades, so I’m playing the first title from 1998. Moreover, I’m studying the evolution of Larian Studios, and plan to play Divinity: Original Sin 2 first.
The last time I played a game in sync with its release was Death Stranding in 2019, back when I was a university student with plenty of free time. I could easily carve out 90 minutes a day to play.
But now? I’m an indie developer—Heaven help me. Time is scarce, and most of it goes into finishing my current project (Dark Reality, demo soon on itch.io, by the way).
So, how do I feel about being perpetually behind on my mental “to-play/watch/read” list? Honestly, it can be pretty anxiety-inducing, especially with video games. The worst is when I’m playing one game while constantly thinking about the other games I “should”be playing, either because they feel more relevant or are more critically acclaimed. This mindset has ruined the hobby for me many times through the years.
If you think about how you play, you will realize that it is virtually impossible to play games without marketing distractions about other games. Open Steam, Epic, or your console of choice, and you’ll inevitably be greeted with a notification: “Hey! A new 9-out-of-10 GOTY contender just dropped. Go play it!”
As a game developer, I feel even more pressure to play as much as possible—not just for enjoyment, but for research and to keep my creative instincts sharp. Ironically, this often detracts from my ability to actually enjoy the games.
What I should do is ignore the constant deluge of new releases. For a developer, staying up to date with trends is less important than being disciplined, inspired, and thoughtful about their craft. You don’t need to play hundreds of hours to gauge where the market and audience are heading; a bit of focused research will suffice.
For those who play games purely for enjoyment, I think the question to ask yourself isn’t “Should I be playing something else?” but “Am I actually enjoying what I’m playing?” Too many times, I’ve wasted hours grinding through games I didn’t care about just to “complete” them or chase achievements.
Let’s take a step back and focus on the joy of the playing in the moment. Let’s play mindfully.
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